This year, Passover and National Sibling Day fall on the same day. Today. Now, you non-Jewish folks (or as you refer to yourselves, regular people) may be asking "Why do you bring this up, Charlie? Why is this night different from all other nights?" Well, on all other nights, we eat leavened... oh wait, hold on, we are talking about siblings. I bring it up because the plague of utmost importance in the Passover story is none other than the slaying of the first born. This implies that there are other borns, so it's in very poor taste, poorer taste than the bitter herbs. I mean, this is the most controversial thing to happen to the Jewish people since Woody Allen married Soon-Yi, who I believe was his first born? (Aww, too soon? No, that's too Soon-Yi.)
What are the odds of this happening? They are literally astronomical, right? I mean, the Jews could sooner flee Egypt than have Passover and National Sibling Day fall on the same day. The Jews could bake bread with all the ingredients more easily than have Passover and National Sibling Day fall on the same day. Woody Allen could divorce Soon-Yi and put her through college more readily than have Passover and National Sibling Day fall on the same day. (She is college age, right? I don't know, I'm just getting around to these jokes now. I'm sure they have a lovely relationship that will last a lifetime. A lifetime is also what you get if you subtract Soon-Yi's age from Woody Allen's.)
Let me think on this some more throughout the holiday and get back to you. It just seems really ironic to have the two days fall together. I know it's possible, but what does it say about the faith? What does it say about the religion? "Enjoy your siblings today while you've got 'em cause we are gonna slay that first born in a few minutes!) Luckily, I'm not the first born, even though I'm a twin. My brother was pulled out before me: It's ok, don't worry. I send him sheeps blood every year around this time. Helps ward off the spirits and makes others think he crazy. Elijah still comes around, that freeloading drunk. You ever liquor up a ghost? This ain't no Casper situation, let me tell you that. But, maybe that's for next week, I don't know.
For now, I'm gonna do what Jews are supposed to do on Passover: get wine drunk and think about stuff. (Sips his dry Pinot Grigio) Ahhh, dry white wine, my favorite (said no one ever). But it's Kosher. And if it's Kosher it's ok in my book. Now, you gonna eat that egg or just dip it in salt water? (Adds that question to the list of four question, making it five.)