There are two questions that you can ask me where the answer is always yes; they are "Are you farting?" and "Did you just fart?" I tend to have a lot of gas, and I don't think it's my diet. Because I've tried changing my diet to leafy greens and healthy stuff, you know, rabbit food, and guess what? It seems like rabbits must fart a lot too because it hasn't helped me. I actually went online and watched a bunch of videos about them farting. Talk about a YouTube rabbit hole, am I right?

Then I considered the fact that everybody farts. That was actually the prequel to the book "Everybody Poops," but it stunk. (Ba dum tisss.) And I guess I can rationalize it like that, right?

Is there something wrong with me? I mean, more than what's already wrong? I don't know... Should I see a doctor? The thing is, I've been to so many doctors recently, I'm starting to believe that I actually am the 65 year old man that I proport to be. I'm destined to be an old man, much more so than the general fact that I am literally destined to be an old man. I was born 40 years old, grumpy and swattting at the neighbors' kids or, I guess, neighboring kid (sorry Joel).

Anyway, I'm old and gassy, like the sun. I guess I'll just embrace it, right? Relaxing in the moment and the smells that surround me. It is not without its perks, though. My most proudest moment of gassiness was getting a guy to leave a crowded seat on the subway. I sat right down like "I don't know what his problem was. Air is fine here. Smells great to me." Best. Fart. Ever.

Watch The Late Stream this week on Facebook Live at 10:00 on Friday, 10/27. Should be a good time. Next week is Halloween. I'm nowhere near ready. Are you?