How To Waste Time At Work

Many of us have day jobs. Many of those day jobs are in an office building. Not the same office building, but a general office building in different U.S. locations. Anyway, I bet we've all thought the same thing at some point: What are the best ways to waste time at work?

Luckily for you, I've thought long and hard on this issue (wasting numerous minutes at work) and come up with some guaranteed ways to make those clock hands move faster than Hilary Clinton after she realized that Bernie Sanders might win the Democratic nomination. That's fast!

1. False Start

Here's something I'm calling the False Start. Picture this: it's the morning, and you know you want coffee or tea. But rather than get it on your own time, before work, why not get after you get to work, check in, and put your stuff down? That way, you can waste time by going back downstairs to the coffee place that you deliberately passed on the way in. That's like a whole ten minutes, just gone. Poof!

2. Reverse Pursuit of Happiness

Now, let's talk going to the bathroom. Instead of making #1 and #2 #1 and #2 on your schedule, when you wake up, respectively, save them until you get to work. That way, it looks like you're healthy and regular to all of your fellow workplace acquaintances. I'm also proposing the reverse Pursuit of Happiness. This is where, instead of drinking less water to be more productive, you drink a ton of water to be less productive and have to pee every hour. That's 30 minutes wasted (literally!).

3. Meetings

Try to go to all of the meetings that you can sneak into. They are like garbage disposals for hours of the day. If you're not a big part of the topic being discussed, you can simply sit back, relax, and watch the weather change outside. You can also soak in some knowledge, but that's purely optional.

4. Late Lunch Break

You gave to eat at some point, right? That's why I'm suggesting that you take lunch as late as you possibly can. That way, the day is more than half over. I suggest like 12:30 or 1:00 pm. There's alsosomething oddly satisfying and filling about a late lunch.

5. Podcasts

If you need something more audibly soothing and time-wastey, try downloading comedy podcasts. Any of the top ones on iTunes are great. Also, there is this one called Shulmania that my brother and I started. You could try that too! It's just us talking over each other while discussing a topic. There's even a special guest at the end. What could be better?

I hope these help your day move along. I know the clock tends to drag sometimes, but infusing a couple life hacks can really speed things up. Just a suggestion!