Well, it's here again. That's about as excited as I get for Halloween. Although, ever since I learned that Halloweentown fan fiction exists, I've moved up to a moderate "Oh wow," like an everyday Owen Wilson discovering that he has eggs left in the fridge. The thing is I don't genuinely enjoy dressing up or putting real work into the art of a Halloween Costume. Some people I know start planning now, this current Halloween 2016, for future Halloween 2018. I can't do that. The most planning I do is trying to figure out how to go to work and, at the same time, show up to Chipotle in costume to secure the ever elusive "Boo-rito." That's a Halloween thing.
You would think, even though no one asked you to think, that I love to dress up, as I'm a comedian and I do characters sometimes. Not the case. It just doesn't interest me. All of my friends feel differently, but that's ok. They are allowed to feel that way. Like I wouldn't even dress up to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a show that I love. I would just show up with a top hat and pray to God that I was accidentally wearing enough sparkly things to pass as a Transylvanian. You know how I do.
Halloween parties are a thing. News flash, though, you can't show up to them four hours after they start. I mean you can, sure, it's your life or whatever, but I'm just saying that everyone will be drunk off of who-knows how many Hell-O shots, or black and orange themed Jell-O shots. And least that was my finding this year. Even if you have a sweet costume, it'll only receive a drunk "Wow!" like a drunk Owen Wilson realizing he has one more Corona in the fridge. Then no one will ever remember it. You may get a text, a few years later, from one of your alcoholic friends working through the steps trying to make amends that says "I was wrong, your costume was the best." but that's wishful thinking at best. At best.
Now, I did manage to do a Halloweeny type thing yesterday. I went to the New York Haunted Hayride out on Randall's Island. Honestly, it was a little scarier getting there than actually going through the attractions, but that might just be me not liking sketchy areas. It was pretty cool. I was excited for the hayride, cause those are always silly and fun. It's hilarious to watch other people get scared. The dark maze was a different story, I close my eyes and try to run through that stuff. Again, I don't like scary things. I was a little scared. I don't scream or nothing (yes I do). Shut up, me! Anyway, that was fun.
Have a very happy and safe Halloween. Please experience something cool. I'd love to live vicariously through your stories, be they a quiet night in watching movies or a heavy metal concert where Gwar is playing. One of those two options. Nothing else.
Next week is the 5 year anniversary of this blog. I'll have stuff to say. Look forward to that. Also, below is a picture of the best costumes this year: