Saturday Night Line

This past Friday/Saturday, I did something that I've only seen and heard about, but never experienced. I tried to get a ticket to see Saturday Night Live by waiting in the standby line from 8:45 p.m. on Friday until 7 a.m. on Saturday. It was the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler/Bruce Springsteen holiday episode. Are you curious how it went? If you are, don't worry, I'm going to explain everything. If you're not, stop reading now and have a Happy Holiday Fun Time (which is my politically correct version of Merry Christmas!)

I started my young Padawan journey by doing some recon when I got off of work on Friday. I went to Rockefeller Center and spent 30 minutes trying to find the line. The line was harder to find than Waldo in a Where's Waldo puzzle. It starts at about the Nintendo Store on 48th Street, between 5th Avenue and 6th Avenue, and extends down 48th Street towards 6th Avenue. If you're not familiar with the area, the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree can be seen from standing at the Nintendo Store and looking perpendicular to 48th Street. So it's a busy area. It's busier than a Where's Waldo puzzle. Its even busy when the tree's lights are turned off at 1:00 a.m. I talked with the first people in line, who showed up on Wednesday. That's commitment. I wish I could do that, but I have a job, and also I can't take time off for another three months. Then, I talked with the last person in line, affectively covering my basis. He seemed like a tool. The line at that point was at the intersection of 48th Street and 6th Avenue.

I went home and got some stuff ready (a sleeping bag, blanket, pillow, book, food, water, etc.) and I headed out. My friend was supposed to meet me there, but she got there about an hour and fifteen minutes later than me. It's amazing that the people behind me let her in line. But anyway, when I got there, the line was on 6th Avenue moving towards 49th Street. I was told that I was 124th in line. That doesn't seem exactly right to me, but I was probably like 100th to 120th. Get it right!! And so I began to wait, making friends with everybody around me in line during the process. Nice people, good folks. My friend showed up (finally) and we hunkered down to wait on the street, homeless person style. I looked at is as practice for when I'm broke in a couple of months and I have to sleep on the street anyway. 

Now, it is a well known fact that people love lines. You're a person reading this right, right? You know what I'm talking about. You love lines. (The only lines that people like are lines of cocaine and lines from movies/tv.) What I'm trying to say is that everybody and there mother (brother, sister, and father) will come up to you and ask "What is everyone waiting for?" It took some real constraint not to screw with people and say stuff like "that inevitable last moment, same as you" or "to use the bathroom" or "a blood drive." And when you tell them that it's SNL, they say "Oh? Who's hosting?" And when you answer that they go "Oh?! Bruce Springsteen! Wow!" Bitch! We are not here to see Bruce. Tina and Amy are hosting!!! But whatever. The homeless people walked by and just glared at us, probably because we stole their spots or something, I don't know. I managed to sleep a good deal, like 3 hours or so, just by lying on the cold hard ground (cue 'goat scream'). It honestly was not as bad as I thought it would be. 

At 6 a.m., they woke us up and made us pack up our things. Then, they condensed the line and we stood until 7 a.m. After that, NBC pages came out and started handing out tickets. Now, they wrote them from the front of the line and the back of the line, because it doesn't matter what ticket number you are, jut the order that you're in. When they get to you, they force you to make the most important decision of your life: Poehler or Fey? Nah, they do ask about Live or Dress Rehearsal, though. There are perks to both, but I chose dress, for the better chance of getting in and the more sketches and Weekend Update jokes. We got numbers and we were told to be back by 7 p.m.


We got there before 7 p.m. because the early bird gets the worm (I'm the bird, a seat is the worm). Next, we were packed like sardines in a winding queue that was tighter than Tuco's meth on Breaking Bad. Then, at about 7:30 p.m., they let 20 people through, then 20 more, then 20 more. I was in that last group of 20. We we're brought to some security guards and a metal detector to make sure we weren't carrying any backpacks. Finally we were about 10 people away from going up a staircase when a man who looked like a fat James Bond came down and said they just seated the last five people. Aww, rats!!!

So, it turns out it was all for naught. But, it's an NBC Experience, and not just because we were in the NBC Experience Store, but because it taught me what to do now. When I do it again, I won't be such a line baby (that's a phrase in trying to start, get it trending).

This is what I leave you with. Next week is the last post of 2015. Can you believe the year is over? I can't. It feels like just yesterday it was last year. Maybe not. Happy Christmas!!! (That's my un-politically correct way to say Merry Christmas!)