I'm Wet

I'm wet!! And not in the "good way." I happened to be outside today when I nearly drowned (on land). I have to imagine this is what bugs feel like when it rains. Just being covered, head to thorax, in water. I mean, it was so much water that I thought I was being Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher. I almost asked where the camera men were. It's too much water when my underwear is soaking wet. And it's also too much information. I stepped through a puddle that was so big it covered my shoes completely. I couldn't see my feet. I aced the wet t-shirt contest. (I also won the wet socks, wet shoes, wet shorts, wet underwear, wet wallet, and wet skin contest) My out-of--shape torso was outlined perfectly, or at least as well as an out-of-shape torso can be outlined. To make a long story short, everything was wet. But, I'm alive. To quote one of my favorite movies, Jumanji: "Well,a little rain never hurt anybody." "Yeah, but a lot can kill you!"