It's that magical time of the year, when early December isn't winter but it might as well be. Also, outdoor holiday markets are hot! (I mean, they are cold because they are outside, but they are hot, in the metaphorical sense.) Now, I love a good holiday market. One can never have too many chatchkies. Unless you're me, in which case you can have too many chatchkies. But it's fine because I put most of them on my shelves and I leave the rest under the windows like Kevin McAllister in home alone, to deter any bad guys from climbing up to the sixth floor and breaking into the apartment (wait, maybe I'm a hoarder?!) It stands to reason that I've been keeping the apartment burglar free since I moved ALL of my stuff in. Take that, people who call me a hoarder.

Anyway, what I want to talk about is holiday markets. I went to a holiday craft market in New Jersey this past weekend, in a little town called Hope. Now, if you ask me, I would tell you there is no hope in New Jersey (because New Jersey is terrible). So don't ask me because that's wrong. It's a one horse town (I saw three horses but please let me use that expression!!) and is maybe as big as Bryant Park. Like the whole town is that big. So it was nice to get away from the city for a few days and escape to the land of New Jersey (I bet that's never been said before because New Jersey is terrible.) Still, we had fun. I spent money. But I got most of my Chrstmas/Hanukkah shopping done, so now I just have to figure out what to get everyone else (ba dum! tisss!!).

I can barely control my genuine excitementat holiday markets, which for me, looks like a real internal battle between my normal sullen demeanor and a smile. It almost looks like I'm having a stroke. But, I'm ok. I'll learn to harness it this Christmas. I'm new to the whole celebrating Christmas thing. After all, I'm very Jewish. Like I don't leave cookies out for Santa. I leave bagels and schmear. As if to say, "hey, from one Jew to another, Merry Christmas." (Oh, come on, we all know Santa is Jewish. Next time...)