Much like a weekly hour slot on HBO, we're all drowning in leftovers. Please remember to swallow your leftover food and leftover rage from fighting with your family, in-laws, neighbors, inner demons, etc. Keep. That. Sh#$. Down. (See what I did there? I even censored my censorship. Now That's What I Call Repression, Volume 2!) The best practice is to go home, say hello, grab a few more childhood things that you don't need, and leave quickly, hopefully in the dead of night, with a turkey leg and suitcase full of crap. I will not go light meat into the night! The night is darkest before the meat, as they say.

What did you buy today? ANSWER ME!!! (Sorry, that's some leftover rage that trickled out of my inner stronghold, or as my therapist calls it, the reason I'm here.) I hope you didn't spend to much between Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Spending too much is the leading cause of not having a lot of money, scientists say. I would save the money that you have leftover. You never know when those leftovers will become worth something someday.

As I write this, I'm reminded of something that won't be leftover after this week: anything of value in the space that used to be occupied by the UCB, underneath a Gristedes Market on 8th Avenue. In fitting UCB style, there are farewell shows being produced to the space, as if the theater is dying. The physical theater, yes, won't be around anymore. The actual theater company will, in fact, continue on, from a location in Hell's Kitchen. From a Gristedes kitchen to Hell's Kitchen, lots of memories have been made and lots more will be forged soon. I can't wait. But seriously, cut it out with acting as if the theater is dying. It's not dying, it's doing what every 20 year old theater major should eventually do: moving out of its parent's basement.

What this all boils right down to is this; sometimes, we need the leftover stuff. It gets us through to the next thing, while being able to rely on the help of previous things. Is this vague enough for you? Can I go now? Jeez, anyway, I'm gonna go, but this was fun. I have to go see if my Cyber Monday toys are here yet. Mailman, where you at?