Well, it finally happened. I lost track of time. My commitments, my decisions, and my alarm clock all got the better of me. I have really been slacking with these posts for the past two months. This is something that has never happened, and I really don't know what to make of it. I want to apologize, but I don't know how to accept my apology. Let me just say this; I've been really busy, and doing so much at once.
You know, it's funny. It's entirely possible to being doing so many things and getting nothing done as a result, and I feel like that's what I've been doing. I've been going around in circles, like "Have I passed this tree before?" and then realizing that yes, I have, and it's the correct path to take. Well, I'm sorry. I'm leaving the woods. Getting out of the weeds. Taking my medicine, as they say in golf and Mary Poppins. (The two are not dissimilar, something to do with big umbrellas, I don't know.) I demand better of myself. And that's what I'm attempting to do from now on. I was so busy chasing that extra dollar and the stuff that doesn't matter that I really ended up bothering some people, myself included, and for that, I apologize.
Speaking of chasing that extra dollar, Webster's Dictionary defines "odd-jobs" as "a job requiring little training or skill." Webster's Dictionary defines "even-jobs" as "no definition found" because I made that term up for the sake of a clever title. If I had to define it, I would define it as those jobs that make you square, or even. You know the ones, like an office job, where you're a building bitch, a workplace whore, a cubicle c$&@. You know what I mean, squares. I've recently realized that I'm not cut out for that life. I want to do odd-jobs for a living.
"But you went to school, Charlie, and amassed hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt." You sound like everybody that I've ever mentioned this to. "You're not thinking clearly." But what if I am? "You can't make a livable wage doing odd-jobs." Challenge accepted. Ever heard of TaskRabbit? Postmates? Lux? These are things that I could do, easily and feasibly, on a schedule that makes sense to me, which is whenever I god damn well feel like it! Oh, I have nothing to do from 5 pm to 6 pm? Wrong! Mary needs her green juice brought to her on a golden pillow. I can do that. I can be your errand boy.
I'm a little errand boy, plain and simple, which was the original lyric to the first line of the children's song "I'm a little tea pot," before they changed it so that kids wouldn't figure out that you don't need college to be happy. For me, all it takes is a set of instructions to follow. The happiest I've ever been was when I would show up at work, inbox like 30 computers and computer accessories, alphabetize them by the user's name, wait for old computers to be dropped off, perform step-by-step laid out computer commands, and then go install them at a cubicle desk. That's the only job that I've enjoyed so far.
Currently, I'm doing something similar in my free time. I'm basically working as an Uber for food. Foodber, the helpful Gremlin. It allows me to be carefree with my schedule, and I'm fully qualified to do it. Jobs that you know how to do are much easier than ones that you don't. That's just simple physics.
So we all do what we do to get by. But I want to challenge you try to break out of your comfort zone because it's just that. Not everything is as it seems. Discomfort is wonderful sometimes. Like when you trade a midtown New York apartment for one in Brooklyn. But more on that later...