I would like to start by saying that I feel as though a great injustice occurred on Tuesday. I just feel like America made the wrong choice and focused more on the presidential election than my blog. It was the five year anniversary, for Pete's sake! These only come around like once or twice in a lifetime. Come on, 'Murica, you're better than that. Where's the parade and big party you've planned for me? Go back now and reread it. It was a really good one. I'll pretend to be surprised, I promise. Thank you.

Other than that, it's been a crazy week. America is in a bit of a pickle. An orange, hate filled, sour pickle. A real "bad cucumbre," if you know what I mean. But would the shriveled up sweet gerkin have been better? I don't know. They both feel slimy.

Oops, I did it again. No, I'm not talking about voting straight republican in the election, I'm talking about waiting in the Saturday Night Live standby tickets line. This was my third time waiting and "No, I haven't learned my lesson yet. Thanks for asking, Dad!" It's worked before. Once. And so, spoiler alert, I'm currently one for three. I did not make it into the show, despite waiting longer than I ever have and being closer in line than I ever was before. I was able to start on Friday at 1 pm because I didn't have work on Friday. Thank you Veterans! I'll take my day off. I like my days off like I like my old couches: out on the street and waiting for awhile. But in all seriousness, it was the easiest wait yet. I really enjoyed it. I went to sleep at 10 pm. I don't go to sleep at 10 pm ever, let alone on the street. And they came at 7 am and gave me my 24th in line ticket. I thought I had a real chance.

Once in (on?) line for the live show, they took the first 30 people straight away (me included) then like 20 more. And we all just stood up by the fabled elevators, watching person after person go by us and up into the room where it happens. They looked like ticket holders but smelled like guests or friends of friends. Half of them were famous celebrities. After watching Jason Sudeikis, Olivia Wilde, Lenny Kravitz, Naomi Campbell, Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, and a man who I thought looked like Jerrod Carmichael go up, I thought the show was over and I was ready to leave. But apparently, the show hadn't begun and these people took all of our seats, despite the guy in charge assuring us that they hadn't. But at 11:29 when we were still waiting and the room was clearing I got weary. I got even wearier when the NBC page came down and said no one was getting in. No one. The first girl in line was ugly crying, hard. It was tough. I was super bummed. I almost bought out the entire NBC experience store to make myself feel better. It was just really sad. It would have been nice to go to Dave Chappelle's first show and the first post election show. But, just like the election, we don't always get what we want.

On the plus side, I wrote and sketch and then decided to flip the male and female roles so that the woman could have fun. I'd like to think that means I'm evolving. Also, it didn't make sense for the guy to be doing the housework. (That's a joke.)

Anyway, try to stay safe and cheer up. The next fours years may pose challenging, but if we take it one day at a time, we can get through it. See you next week.