Let's continue with the whole schooling theme that I established last week. Now this is my story (all about about how my life got flip turned upside down) about an epiphany I may have had last week.
When I was in 9th grade, I had my English teacher sign my yearbook, along with all of my other teachers, partly because I liked my teachers, and partly because the other students wouldn't sign my yearbook. I've got pages to fill, people! She wrote a message to both me and my brother. For my brother, she wrote something to the effect of "Have a good summer. Please come back and visit anytime." He was in a different class with like 6 students, and I always felt she liked him more. For me, she wrote "Always remember to balance work and play." Naturally, if you know me at all, I took this as a huge insult because she wasn't as cheery towards me as she was to him, and I have had a slight grudge about it ever since. I have a drawer full of grudges, and it's sitting on top of the pile.
Last week, I was talking with my family, and I brought it up, as I do from time to time, to joke about it in self-deprecating conversation. But while I was talking, I realized, for the first time, that maybe she was trying to give me some of the best advice that I could have been given at the time, a time when I took myself and my work so seriously. What?!?!?!
What I may have realized is that she was telling me to play more and not be so uptight about work. You know, work hard, play hard, as the kids say. Now, I couldn't agree more with her because I want to make playing my work. But then, I saw it as an insult. Not the biggest insult written in my yearbook, but definitely, you know, in the top five.
Part of me wants to apologize to her, but she doesn't know I have a grudge, so that wouldn't do any good. Part of me wants to ask her what she meant, but I don't know if she would remember. It probably doesn't keep her up at night like it keeps me up at night.
I guess the moral of the story is to realize when you are being given good advice and when you are being insulted. And also make friends so your yearbook isn't as empty as mine. Sign my yearbook, please!!!