This is it, the aPOPEcalypse!

Well, folks, he's coming. The Papal invasion begins in about 3 days. The city is going to close it's doors to the public. But just remember, when God closes one door, he opens a window somewhere and shoves the Pope in through it. Never has something so hard to figure out happened to Philadelphia since the 2015 Eagles season. If you're leaving the city, get out now. If you're staying in the city, get out now. I don't know of any other word to describe this whole visitation process besides the word (and here's where this blogs really earns it R-rating) clusterf**k. First, you need a ticket. Then you need a special pass. Now the Pope is only speaking Spanish. So, I guess he's not stopping at Geno's. Ooh, zinger!! Spanish to English dictionaries are going to fly off of the shelves in the next few days. You know it's going to just be millions of people each flipping madly through their dictionaries like "Shoot! Ok, what does the word 'Jesús' mean? He keeps using it a lot." 

My only piece of advice is to do what makes you feel safe and comfortable. Odds are, going outside will be the opposite of that. Stay in and use this weekend to catch up on TV or get household chores done. That way, when people ask what you did when the Pope came in, you can tell them that you finished your basement and painted your living room while watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and then launch in to an interesting monoglue about the experience of being locked away due to religious beliefs. Buts that's only a suggestion (wink!). I don't live in the city, so I'm staying away this week. It's going to be hectic and way too Christian for me, like the mall on Black Friday. But a lot of people are going to turn out and try to glimpse the Pope from two miles away. And that takes real dedication. So whatever you do this week, show it real dedication. That includes you, Pope!! Yeah, I just called out the Pope. So what? I'm Jewish. He can't touch me. I don't care. Humph!!!

Stay safe, and see you next week!!