I am writing you a formal apology. No, no, let me finish. I attempted to do you on Friday night, but alas, I failed, hard. Normally, doing something hard is a good idea, so I'm just as confused as you are.
Now, I've done monologues before, not unlike this one, but Friday night was rough. It's not that it wasn't funny. I thought it was. It's just that I felt unprepared. I was worried about the words and I forgot to commit to the acting. Also, I forgot the words.
Aww, man! Those words. I just didn't know them. I read them over and over all day, but when I got out in front of the audience, I didn't know them. Luckily, I had them with me, so when I pulled the paper out, it looked tacky in a prepared way.
Listen, I'm sorry again. I'll try harder next time. I'm still learning how you work. Give me a break. Please?
P.S. I will be redeeming myself this Thursday and Friday, during my sketch show at the Philly Improv Theater at 9:00 pm. So you can rest easy, old friend.