"Success. How do we even define success? Cause it's different to different people. Success can be money, love, happiness, or having your name embroidered on every towel you own. But how do we get success? No, you don't buy it at the Apple Store, you develop it through hard work and sexual favors. Now, you might be asking me, 'Charlie, do you consider this blog successful?' And I might be saying, 'Sure, ever since I found out that other people read it besides my mom.' Success is funny like that. I have found that everyone tells you a different story of it, and each one is a learning experience. Success."

"I'm sorry, Charlie. That's incorrect. It's S-U-C-C-E-S-S. Please be seated."

And that's how I lost the spelling bee.