How's Your Summer Going?

Summer is flying by very quickly. Lately, the sky has been lighting up like the Fourth of July, because of the thunderstorms that we have had and also the Fourth of July. I've been spending a lot of time on the golf course as a caddie and as a golfer and most of my time at the golf course waiting to caddie. I keep telling myself it's worth it. Other than that, I've been loafing around  and watching TV. Enjoy the rest of your summer and I'll see you next week.

Commercial #1

Do you have pain from an accident? Me too. I mentioned it to adults who dismissed it quickly. That's when my doctor recommended Bayer's Growing Pains Aspirin. For when you're a teenager and no one takes you seriously. Possible side affects may include nausea, vomiting, dizziness, shortness of breath, weight gain, and in sever cases, gas. Do not operate heavy machinery while taking Bayer's Growing Pains Aspirin. Women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant shouldn't be teenagers. So when you're all alone, and no one believes you are hurt, take Bayer's Growing Pains Aspirin.

Blogging: Part 2

It's been a little hard to blog lately. I've been hard up for time recently, but I finally got around to it. It was much needed. I realized that I have to keep at it if I ever want to get good and be taken seriously as a blogger. I don't have to rush it, and I'm taking my time to make sure that my posts aren't all over the place. But I enjoy it and it's fun, so that's all that matters. I'm having some of my best ideas, and it just goes to show, that with a little hard work, anything is possible.

Broken Promises

I regret to inform you that the Radio Show is not ready yet. (Awwww!) :( I know you are disappointed but the airwaves were jammed this week and I couldn't record it. So you'll just have to keep and ear out for it in the future. But that got me thinking. I shouldn't make promises I can't keep. Because then I break them and I look bad. So I promise to try not to break promises from now on. Broken promises are hard to fix. I was looking through the book Promises for Dummies and there was a big section on broken ones. It recommended not using a hammer (unless you promised to hammer in a nail but didn't). I didn't read much more than that but I think I know where it was going. It probably said promises are hard to unbreak, and to simply not do it in the first place. Alright, just keep an ear open for the show, it will be ready sometime ahead, I promise!

Complaints to the Chef

Hey, I'm back and... drum roll.... I do have sun burn on my back! I ate at a lot of restaurants with my family while I was away. Now, when you go out to eat with my family, there are a few things that happen pretty regularly. I don't want to call them rules because we don't really follow rules.

1. Expect to not sit where we were first seated because it's too close to the door and/or not a booth.

2. Order something but make a slight adjustment to it.
Can I have a BLT, except hold the L and the T and no mayo?
So, just bacon?
Yeah, sure.

3.Coke, no Pepsi!
I'll have a coke.
Pepsi ok?
Yeah, no, no, no, let's leave. Thanks for the bread.

Stay tuned next week for something that I'm calling The Radio Show!

Gone Fishing

Sorry y'all, I'm on vacation this week. I have been kidnapped by my parents and brought down south, to an area know as Myrtle Beach. Its ok, if you like hot weather, the beach, and grits. I will be refreshed next week and probably sun burnt. In the meantime, take this week as an opportunity to review my earlier posts and maybe say which one is your favorite. Ok, I'll see you next week, I have to go relax now.

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day, the unofficial start to summer. Please honor our fallen veterans by eating lots of hotdogs, hamburgers, and cheeseburgers. If you have a pool, open it. It is our nation's right to have the freedom to splash wherever, whenever, and whomever we please. But above all, it is a day of remembrance. And if you forget to remember, don't worry, you can try again next year.

I'm Not McLovin It!

To Whom it May Concern,

It has been brought to my attention by an astounding number of people (let's say 2) and an even more astounding number of people (let's say 10) that I resemble the character McLovin from the movie Superbad. I don't see it. They tell me I have his look and mannerisms. I look at myself and ask "Am I some 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor? No, I don't think so." You see, no one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb f!@#$%& fairy tale name.

Warmest Regards,
Charlie

P.S. If you thought this was going to be about McDonald's, I apologize for the confusion.

Stalker Pick-Up Lines

Hey, stalker's are people too! We just don't see them everyday (But they see us!). And occasionally, they need help picking up women (and then never letting go). So, I've taken it upon myself to help these unseen heroes out. Anyone can use these lines, but they will only work in certain situations.

Did it hurt? When you tripped outside your house this morning. Hi, my name is...
Are your legs tired? Because you've been running past my car every morning this week. Hi, my name is...
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? It's like love at tenth sight for me. Hi, my name is...
Do you have a band aid? I scraped my knee when I fell, out of the tree next to your room, for you. Hi, my name is...

I have no clue what these line's success rates are, but they probably aren't good. So take it or leave.

A Stroke of Genius

Let me describe a typical day of golf. I step up to the practice range so I can get all of the good shots out of my system. I really want to immerse myself in nature and explore every acre of the course. Then I'm ready to tee it up.  My driver usually goes about 30 feet. Then i have to go pick it up and try again. I can hit the ball 200 to 250. Yards? No, feet. On my next shot, I have to either play over the tree or chip to the fairway. I decide to go over the tree. That doesn't work. I take a mulligan. I chip to the fairway. I bring out the fairway wood. I can usually hit the ball 150 to 200 with this club. Feet?  No, inches because I hit the ground behind the ball. Then I play it safe and iron it to the edge of the green. Here I proceed to chip over the green and then onto the green. Putting usually takes about 2 or 3 shots. When I'm all done eighteen holes, I'm tired and and frustrated. But, for some crazy reason, I want to come back and play again. Golf is the only sport I know that both relieves and creates stress. I always feel relaxed on the course but stressed that I am a not doing well. It's a love/hate relationship. I love it; it hates me.