When Will the Madness End?

The answer is tonight, actually. But, I guess I'm talking about a different type of madness than March Madness. I won't money this with my brackets, which if you know me is exciting because I choose basketball teams like your mom. "That one, with the colors." Sure, there's the general sense of world madness, but I wouldn't touch that situation even if you paid me me Stormy Daniels-type money. And threatened me in a parking lot. What I'm talking about is the crazy situation happening down south, past my belly button and above my kidneys. If you hit my balls, you've gone too far (or in some rare cases, not far enough!).

Now, I'm not alone in thinking that my brain might be controlling my stomach. I once heard that the world was gonna end in 2012, and then my stomach hurt for months. The world didn't end in 2012 cause the Mayans don't know crap! More like Nostradumbass! (I get hit by lightning after writing this.) No, what I'm clamoring on about is my psyche. There's so much wrong with me mentally that my therapist thinks there's nothing wrong with me. I said "You're confusing unwillingness to share with nothing to share," and he said... nothing because I didn't say that to him. I probably said something like "Ok." I gotta get better at that. Personal growth, Charlie. Stay in your lane. Talk to the guy. He's taking your money.

Anyway, Happy Pesach and Happy Easter! Easter? I hardly know her. Haha, just kidding, I know her. She went to school with me. Easter and Passover fell on nearly the same day this year. And no one was more confused than the staff at Walgreens. "How come the shelves are empty? Did people actually buy that crappy bread? And hey look, the Matzah's gone too." That was a Peeps joke. Nailed it like Jesus to the cross. It's ok, he lived or something.  We don't quite know. What we do know is that both holidays involve eggs and looking for hidden things, which, if you think about it, is what life is truly about... Man, eggs are so good. And hidden things are good too. Sometimes. That's for my therapist to decide.