I bank with PNC, which basically means that I went to college. In New York, using PNC is not an easy thing to do, since there aren't very many branches or ATMs. I feel like PNC modeled their business off of Chik Fil-A, except PNC doesn't hate the LGBTQIA community. But both are hard to find and closed on Sundays and both have a lot of my money. (I couldn't care less about what they think of me and my lifestyle habits, I just need those tasty, tasty nuggets. But, I digest. [I've made that joke before, I think. It's hard to keep track. Yell at me on twitter for it.])

Why I am telling you where I bank? Cause it doesn't matter anymore. Facebook already sold all of my information to Cambridge Analytica, so they know everything. (And all because one of my friends clicked on a silly questions quiz, or so they told me when I clicked the mysterious link that appeared last week on Facebook.) The cat's out of the money bag, as it were. (Side note: I love Cambridge Analytica. Best encyclopedia I've ever owned. Their software really paired well with Encarta Online when I was a kid.) The main reason I even mention the Pittsburghian Native Casholder (PNC?) is because recently, they've thought that my card has been fraught with frauds (better title).

I recently booked an AirBnB upstate for half of a week over the summer to "take care of something." I got an automated call letting me know that suspected fraud had occurred on my credit card. Oh not so, Personal 'N'ytime Cash (P'n'C?) credit card. I made the purchase. With the tax return I just received, I payed you down and charged more on. That's your one job: to send and receive virtual money, like the OG bitcoin. Don't ask me about train tickets to New Jersey or my journey to upstate New York. I live in this area. I live in New York City.

I don't want to have to call and verify purchases with a robot. It's embarrassing and slightly unsettling as a person. Oh, what? This robot thinks its right and now has full jurisdiction over me and my debt, cause let's face it, that's what's in the bank. Anyway, guess I need to fill out a travel form when I go out of state to one over or stay in one state, just go to the other edge of it. Sheesh!

On the plus side though, fraud protection really does do good work, and I should be thanking the Permanent New Checking (PNC???) system. I love knowing that they always have my back. Also, I still have a student account, and it's been four years since I graduated. I'll let you know when that scam hits the fan. That's the fraud they should be seeing. But no, they see Oswego, NY, and think "Is his card stolen?" Boy, Oswego must be really bad. I guess I'll find out when I'm doing my "business by a river and lake upstate." (Nothing illegal or fraudulent, of course. Just going to a Renaissance Faire.)