As we all know, Amazon bought Whole Foods last week for 13.7 billion dollars. When asked why, Jeff Besos said "I was hungry." Ooh, never shop when you're hungry Jeff. That's the first rule of shopping; well second, if the first rule is don't talk about shopping. Anyway, I'll argue that, a lot like the fruits and magazines and juices in the front of Whole Foods, this was an impulse buy. CEOs, they're just like us! Except, where we say we are going to buy something from the market, they say we are going to buy the market. We better get some good Whole Foods Prime out of this or something. I don't care what, just something.
I am glad that Besos bought Whole Foods, I just think he payed too much, almost as if he shopped at Whole Foods. For comparison, here are some other things that he could have bought with 13.7 billion dollars:
- 163679 tesla model x's with money left over to upgrade the seats.
- 15 penthouses in 432 Park Avenue with some money left over to knock down the walls in between.
- 113,223,140 NYC MTA monthly metro cards, and still be late to work because it's the MTA, which stands for "making travel awful", with a little money left over to stop at Starbucks for a dark roast.
- 849.4 miles of Trump's border wall, although I believe Mexico is paying for it
- 4 Air Force Ones, with money left over to hire Harrison Ford to yell "Get off my plane!"
- My identity, including all of my personal information and my dignity, with 13.69999 billion left over to build 849.39938 miles of Trump's border wall.
These are just a suggestion. He is his own man. Hey, don't let me tell you how to run the most successful online store of all time. But I'm just asking "Whole Foods, really?" I would have bought Trader Joe's. I'm a sucker for frozen food.