The Case of Swanky v. Schwanky

First of all, thanks for sticking with me last month. I got an idea to make up SAT math questions, and then decided to double down on it and commit to the rest of the SAT test. It was both strange and stressful. So to all of you who actually stuck with me, you are appreciated. I have no regrets. When I wrote the first one, I called myself a genius... out loud... to other people... in person. So I have no shame. None at all.

Now, recently, I've been hearing and sometimes using the word 'swanky,' usually in relation to my apartment here in New York. Swanky, for those who don't know, means stylish, luxurious, fancy, or posh, you know, like the Spice Girls (Scary, Baby, Sporty, Ginger, Swanky). It's not a word that I would normally keep in lexicon (after all, I use the word "lexicon"), but others have been using it around me and in conversation with me, so I've picked it up. I know, I know. Great power, great responsibility, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to throw it around loosey goosey (Note: remove "loosey goosey" from my lexicon). I'm just noticing the word more and more.

That brings me to the issue at hand. Last week, I heard the word again. It was said by a  woman sitting behind me to another woman sitting behind me. Fine, fine, I was eavesdropping. Are you happy now? Anyway,  the one woman, who will remain nameless because I don't know her name, said it in a, for lack of a better word, swanky way. She said "schwanky." Think Mike Myers as Wayne from Wayne's World; Schwing!! That's not the right way to say it, is it? I'm new to this word, and I don't want to get it wrong (or use it at all). Maybe I won't use it. That solves my problem, right? But it's definitely swanky not schwanky. I think so. Also, she had an upper inflection on the end of the sentence like everything was a question. Upspeak, I believe?

This is, I guess, a silly debate (Silly Debate is my political sketch group). I'm going to arbitrarily decide that I'm right because who cares? I will never hear her again (hopefully). She doesn't bother me at all. For now, I will sit in swanky NYC apartment and try to figure out what I'm doing here. Maybe I'll update my lexicon. And by "update my lexicon," I mean watch porn.