How Far Is Heaven?

Lately, I've been thinking about death. Not in a bad way. And I'm not talking about the one from Family Guy. I'm talking about the end all, be all. The final frontier. The last nail in the coffin. I'm not trying to scare you or worry you. I'm trying to keep things light (without going towards the light). 

When I first thought about death, like really realized it as something that happens, I was on the golf course during the summer of 2010. It was the middle of the 18th hole (my score's time of death was hole 3) and I was walking down the fairway when it hit me (the idea, not a golf ball) that I was going to die one day.. Ever since then, it nags me on and off. We are like an old married couple (Does that count as necrophilia?). 

Most people deal with death by using religion. I was raised as a conservative Jew but became a mixture of reform and conservative (reformative?) (conservaform?) after my Bar Mitzvah (like most Jews). I guess I'm agnostic, or borderline atheist. Religion comforts us and makes us feel safe and taken care of (much like a Snuggie ©®™). I can't tell you what to believe. This is 'Murica, and it's your God-given right to choose that for yourself. 

But what about Heaven? What about Hell? What about Limbo (my favorite Bar Mitzvah game)? Are they real? Do they exist? I don't know. That's why we are here. To find out. I like to imagine that when we "pass on," we all get let in on the secret that is this whole cosmic joke. So until then, I guess we are left in the dark. I believe it was this curiosity that killed the cat.